Hi I’m Margo and thanks for visiting us at Achieve Conceive. I’d like to share with you my story as a means of offering hope, encouragement and a much-needed heavy dose of empowerment to those suffering with Infertility. I know the difficult road you’re traveling, having been on it myself for many, many years. The knowledge, insight and support I gained throughout the process was invaluable to me and, although now I am the overjoyed mommy of a little boy, I couldn’t just leave what I had learned behind me. It was and will forever be an indelible part of my life and one that I feel compelled to share with others. To be frank, it’s not easy to put all of my past pain and heartache on display to the unknown public but I do so in the hopes that my story will give you some helpful piece to this complicated puzzle and make a difference in your own struggles. It is my mission to provide as much help as I can.
This is my story….
Picture this: Thanksgiving with the family. All of us celebrating a time of to be with loved ones. It was also the time that my husband and I were excited to announce that we were to become parents. Unexpected for sure since we weren’t even trying and I was actually even on the Pill. However, stranger things have happened and we took the news as a blessing, nonetheless.
The pregnancy was progressing smoothly. Going to every doctor visit as necessary and anticipating our first ultrasound. We were overjoyed and excited to hear our baby’s heartbeat for the first time. However, little did I know that this particular day was to become the first day in a 12 yearlong journey that would encompass my entire life and change me forever. As we calmly waited through the exam and held hands in anticipation of that heartbeat, the nurse tried in vain to find proof our baby was alright. However, no heartbeat could be found, not by her nor by the doctor who came to confirm her findings. Our fate was not to hear our child’s heartbeat after all but the doctor telling us that I would eventually miscarry. Who would have thought that this was to become the first of 5 subsequent miscarriages in a row.
We tried once again to conceive and after a long time with no success, I finally became pregnant a couple of years later. However, just as before, I miscarried yet again at the early stages of the pregnancy. We decided that we needed further testing to find out what was happening and consulted our first Reproductive Endocrinologist (a.k.a. RE) that same month. Eventually, after lots and lots of testing for both myself and my husband, I was diagnosed with a Hypothyroidism condition, uterine fibroids and several antibody/autoimmune issues which could have caused my miscarriages. Great…now we have the answers we need to solve my Infertility, right? Or so we thought at the time…
We decided to undergo an IVF to further our chances. It was a dismal yield of my eggs, to say the least, and was told right then that I should consider other possibilities to becoming a parent. I decided to get a 2nd opinion. We consulted with another RE and decided to undergo another IVF…again it bettered my chances. As a result, I became pregnant with this IVF. However, a few weeks later, I miscarried. I decided to take a break…my body, my psyche and my soul needed to decide what to do next….
Later on, I decided to undergo my 3rd IVF. Again, I became pregnant and, yet again, I miscarried within a few weeks. It was time to get a 3rd opinion as to what to do now…
I consulted with my 3rd RE who assured me that I would have a very successful IVF if I did it once more. Well, I did and yielded the most eggs I have ever produced (24!). We allowed ourselves to feel excited for the first time in a long time because now something different had occurred. However, as was my history, this time would not get us any closer to achieving our dream of a baby. Our 6 remaining embryos stopped growing suddenly and eventually were discarded. Now what?
As we now were deciding to pursue adoption, I came across a wonderful group of ladies who were experiencing their own Infertility journeys and felt a peace and a sense of camaraderie that I had never experienced before. This was to be my turning point after all.
In this group, I became aware of another clinic, out of state, which was having great success in IVF. My husband and I decided that this would be our next and final RE clinic visit.
I underwent my 5th IVF in December 2010 and I yielded 2 genetically-tested normal embryos which we subsequently decided to freeze. Since I had never had a successful pregnancy, my RE advised that we should hire a Gestational Carrier as our best course of action. That’s exactly what we did. However, given our history and the lack of adequate studies concerning the use of a Carrier, our doctor could only give us a best case scenario of a 30% success rate. That was all. After undergoing years and years of hell these were my best odds. However, it was better than zero so we pressed on because my hope for a final resolution felt that strong.
We found a wonderful lady to carry our 2 little embryos and in June 2012, we put our faith in God and transferred them into her. Lo and behold, she became pregnant almost immediately! Of course, given our sad history, we were so frightened to attend our first ultrasound. However, clear as day, our little baby’s heartbeat was as strong and as healthy as we had always hoped it would be. Not a moment would pass that we didn’t worry for our growing baby and his Carrier. Our worries were unfounded as she had one of the best pregnancies she had ever experienced.
In Feb. 2013, we were overjoyed to welcome our son into this world! He is our joy and our miracle and we are forever grateful to God for our many blessings.
Having had this wonderful experience with our Carrier, who is and will forever be in our lives, and knowing we were finally going to achieve our dream helped me to cope with my most recent loss. For as we traveled to visit our Carrier at her ultrasound visits to see our baby growing in her womb, I too became pregnant 4 months after she did. Life is ironic, isn’t it? The pregnancy couldn’t have been more unexpected as it occurred during a week long fun-filled beach trip while my husband and I both became scuba certified. Yes, whereas doctor’s office advise against lifting anything over 10 lbs. in order to up your chances, I was constantly lifting and carrying extremely heavy air tanks on my back. Who would of thought?
We were scared of course but everything progressed better than ever before, at least blood work-wise and my comfort level. However, we experienced the same heartache and pain as we did oh so long ago at the news that no heartbeat could be found. Knowing, though, that our little boy was safely growing in our Carrier was the gift I focused on and thanked God for this ultimate gift. We give thanks every day.
Throughout these many years of hardship, I learned so much about Infertility and it’s causes, treatments, and, most evident, the emotional toll it takes on those suffering through it. I started Achieve Conceive as a means to help others undergoing these same trials. The world of Infertility is an isolated one but remember that we are always here to give you encouragement and hope along with the latest information to empower you to continue on your own journey to success.
Wishing you all the best,